thoughts

death of my professional.

im not a professional and it hurts not real death. but a real end. still breathing you can awknowledge how many things you do that have nothing to do with your professional life. how you relationship build. walk your dog. ensure that your insurance is current. pick up your neighbors package out of the rain. these little piece of labor are self selected if they didnt happen you wouldnt die. your job would still be there, you would still have a roof or a bed, but the piece of you that believes in helping, that wants to help not because it would ever impact your work but because you want to. Your public self - the things you do for you and those beings around you I offer up an argument. How do we develop a cohort public self if we are constantly worried about our professional self? they are not the same people. I would never add to my resume that I would help you clean your space, or that i know how to check bottle temperatures, that I would drive you to the store or pick you up food. I wouldnt add that i know how chop vegetables or that I take cooking safety very seriously. I wouldnt as easily tell you that i hate the cold because what does that have to do with the business. But i want you to know because maybe that information would helpful to you. If you wanted my help.

i can.

i can wash my hands. I can clean. I can follow a recipe. I can make a bottle. I can hold a tiny baby. I can change a diaper. I can get gas. I can pick up your grorceries. I can babysit your small. I can pick up your small. I can level one sew. I can listen to your testimony. I can be in your corner. I can create. I can building in public.

tummy time

existing in at the edge of wanting to be in my body and not the love of being strong, laughter- relaxed and tensed muscles and the stress of thinking - the tension of feelings without release the feeling of muscles locking sleeping and the art of ignoring to be in my body and need way more help to be in my mind in context i wasnt in my body - meaning i was never relaxed just the most relaxed i can know - as someone in abuse, in negeclet and fear. going asleep dreading tomorrow is a feeling in our body (too) and our mind the need to do and the ability to notice if youre always stressed how do you notice more stress?